Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Ryan B reads Elvira's Christmas Carol





Yay!

Christmas day has finally come and Santa brought me everything I asked for... after a little persuasion. Once I let him go and he flew out of sight, he shouted, "Merry Christmas to all!" and then took off in fright.

So since I'm in such a holly jolly mood today I decided to give you all a Christmas treat. A story featuring many of your favorite horror hosts including Cain, Abel, Destiny, and Elvira! There's even a special (sort of) appearance by Zacherly.

So here ya go, from Elvira's House of Mystery Christmas Special, it's a horrific twist on a classic Dickensian tale.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Ryan B reads Bless Us, Father...






Sooo

My Grandma got run over by a reindeer last night. 

It was pretty horrible actually. She was walking home from our house after her and my mom's weekly "eggnog party" that they always do in December, and from what we and the police can gather she must have been crossing the street when she was suddenly trampled by an escaped 200 pound reindeer from the local zoo.

I was the one who found the body the next morning while taking out the trash. There were hoof prints on her forehead and there was a ton of blood and gashes all over her body. Her head was also partially smashed in.

No one witnessed the accident (if it was in fact an accident) and the reindeer is still at large, so if anybody has any information, please call the Pleasant Hollow sheriffs department at Klondike 555-976-1313.

And now, from 1974's Creepy #59, story by Bill Dubay, art by Richard Corben, here's a bloody holiday romp yule just die for...

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Ryan B reads Santa's Claws





Hey-o!

How are all you comic book creeps doing tonight, or today, or whenever the hell you're reading this?

Me, myself, and Tom are decorating my Christmas tree at the moment. My momma didn't think we should have one this year, because they cost too much money and she already blew the Christmas budget  on Arnold Stang albums, Yoohoo, and vodka for herself. I took care of it though, I borrowed this one from the Krelmoore's down the street. It just had lights on it when I got it, so me and Tom are improvising some ornaments. A shrunken head, some skeleton garland left over from Halloween, A voodoo doll on top instead of an angel. It looks boss so far.

Anyway, you didn't come here for my tree, you came here for horror comics, so while I get Tom's boney ass untangled from all this silver tinsel, why don't you check out this helladay treat from 1970's Web of Horror #3. It was drawn by Frank Brunner and written by my favorite scribe, Bruce Jones. 

Go on, Webster, weave us a tale...

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Ryan B reads A Sock For Christmas

 



Well ho ho holy crap, it's Christmas once again!

Christmas is actually my favorite holiday right behind Halloween. It's a time when things seem just a little more bright. Particularly if you happen to fall asleep next to a roaring fire and accidentally roll in.

Don't laugh, it happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of my cousin.

Okay, you can laugh a little.

But really, Christmas is great. The lights, the songs, the smells. And there's no reason you can't get just as scared around Christmas as you can the rest of the year. In fact the cold darkness of winter is perfect for a tale of terror.

Oh look! Here's one of those now.

Straight from my old uncle's trunk full of horror comics comes this yuletide tide of gore from The Vault of Horror #29. It's written by Al Feldstein with art by Johnny Craig.

And where there's Johnny Craig you can be sure that The Vault-Keeper's not to far away. So take it away, Vaulty, what do ya have for us?

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Ryan B reads A Sucker For A Spider






I hate spiders. I hate 'em!

They're the only thing that truly fills me with dread, and so I thought that today I would bare my deepest fear to you all and together we could delve into a twisted web of terror from Tales from the Crypt #29 featuring those disgusting little nasty monsters.

Drawn by the great "Ghastly" Graham Ingels and written, as usual, by the great Al Feldstein, here it is, take it away Old Witch!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Ryan B reads Holly's Hobby

 



Bruce Jones, you magnificent bastard! Only you could craft a story this good and do it in only four pages.

From Twisted Tales #7,  this chilling yarn features some great art by John Bolton and one hell of a twist. You might even say it puts the twist in Twisted Tales.

On second thought don't say that.

Just enjoy this little quickie which begins in medias res and discover the horrible secret behind...


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Ryan B reads Reflection Of Death


 




As the old Crypt-Keeper has recently brought to my attention, it has been many a full moon since I covered a story from Tales from the Crypt. So, to avoid any personal loss of life or limb I suppose I should return to that place where I spent most of my misspent youth, The Crypt of Terror.
This evening’s offering is a little mind screw courtesy of Al Feldstein and Issue # 23 of Tales from the Crypt.
Take it away, Crypty...

Friday, November 2, 2012

Coming up next at Comic Book Crud...




So, I go to open the old comic book trunk in order to pick a new story to share with you creeps and who should be hiding inside, but...



Okay, okay, you do have a point, Crypty. I suppose I haven't ventured into the crypt since my very first post on here, so as a personal favor to you my next blog will be a tale from the crypt. Happy?

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Ryan B reads Raise The Devil & The Worm Turns

 




Hey gang! Welcome to another scum filled spookapalooza edition of Comic Book Crud. For our last entry this Halloween season, me and Tom thought it would be a treat for all you delinquents out there if we gave you not one, but two jolting tales of terror in the Comic Book Crud tradition.

So, put on your Collegeville costumes, stuff your face with some razor blade filled Zagnut bars, and let's join good old Cain for a party at The House of Mystery already in progress...

Monday, October 8, 2012

Ryan B does All Hallows

 
 
 
 
 
 
Welcome back to Comic Book Crud you horror comic fiends and delinquents. I am that hoodlum that your parents warned you not to play with, Ryan B.
 
Today we will be continuing the theme of Halloween that we started last time with The October Game and will be enjoying all throughout the month of October.
 
 
You all remember what it was like to trick or treat, right? Many of you still may even be doing it to spite being in your late twenties. You go to a house, ring the bell, say "trick or treat" threateningly to whoever answers, have goodies dropped into your sack, then you say "thank you" and walk away so you can go get the eggs and toilet paper and repay the goon for giving you a box of dental floss.
 
Yes, it's one of the greatest joys of childhood, and the subject of tonight's story. It's a fantastic piece of midnight madness from Twisted Tales #1. Written by the master, Bruce Jones, and drawn by the talented Tim Conrad, this is a tale that could only happen on...
 

Monday, October 1, 2012

Ryan B does The October Game

 
 
 
 
 
Howdy there, my fellow delinquents. It's your old pal Ryan B here once again to present to you another story from one of my uncle's moldy old muck mags.
 
Since the season of the witch (October) is upon us now and Halloween is right around the CORONER, I thought it would be only too appropriate for me to give you all a little treat. Or is it a trick? You'll have to read it to find out.
 
It's a story from EC Comics' SHOCK SuspenStories #9 and it's adapted by editor Al Feldstein from a short story by none other than Ray Bradbury himself. The art is by EC veteran, Jack Kamen, and it'll no doubt put you in just the right mood for this holiday season.
 
Now, if you're ready, prepare to play the game...
 

Monday, September 17, 2012

Ryan B does World For A Witch


 
 
 
Hiya, kids, welcome to Comic Book Crud!

 I’m your (sort of) host, Ryan B.

 

For those of you who are new to this blog, let me tell you a little bit about what we do here. You see, from up in my mama’s dark and dusty attic, me and my buddy, Tom…

 

Look through my dead uncle’s old comic book trunk and pick out the best, the worst, and the somewhat in between stories that his moldy horror comics have to offer. I then present them to YOU accompanied by my own commentary and opinions, because… it’s my blog. But I don’t have all the fun. If a particular story we’ve picked has been adapted to another medium like television, or film, then Tom will do his own little write up of that version in a segment we call, Adaptation Analysis. Pretty cool, right?

So now that you cats are down with the format, let’s keep this blog rolling…

So far, we’ve already paid a visit to DC’s The House of Mystery. Cain the able caretaker treated us to a piece of wormwood called Roots of Evil and it pretty much stunk up the place. Something about a killer tree and a goon with thick glasses and a C.H.U.D face. Anyway, it wasn’t great, so now let’s try Cain’s brother, Abel’s place across the street.

Direct from The House of Secrets, this enchanting bit of Dickensian doom is called…

World For A Witch


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Ryan B does Majority Of One


 
 
So, when I did my first review of a story from Twisted Tales, I picked a bit of a stinker. This may have given some of you new to horror comics the idea that this book or maybe Bruce Jones specifically, is not so great. Well, that’s not true. My review of Jenifer should have been enough to show you that Bruce Jones is a genius and one of, if not THE best, in his field. Now I want to show you one of his best, most classic stories from Twisted Tales (which, on the whole, was a consistently great book all around). No, it’s not the infamous Banjo Lessons, although we’ll no doubt get to that one eventually. No, this is a little story about not fitting in called…

Majority Of One.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Ryan B does Faced With Horror




Along with horror titles such as The Vault of Horror, The Crypt of Terror, and The Haunt of Fear, EC Comics was also responsible for being the leading publisher of crime comics in the early 1950's. Sure there had been crime stories on the news stands before, in pulp novels aimed more at adult readers than kids. Books like The Shadow and The Spider were heavy on words and not much on pictures, with a serious, more realistic tone. They featured masked avengers solving mysteries and were akin more to what would later be superhero tales more so than horror comics. EC changed that by having their crime comics such as Two-Fisted Tales and Crime SuspenStories deal with bad things happening to bad people. There were no werewolves or vampires here, but there were adulterous spouses and axe weilding madmen and were just as taboo and envelope pushing as anything the Crypt-Keeper could come up with.
So let's take a look at one of these nasty little noirs. It's a story of crime and vanity from one of the earliest issues of Crime SuspenStories called...
Faced With Horror. 

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Ryan B does The Roots Of Evil





So in 1951 when EC Comics launched their very first horror comics, thus giving birth TO the horror comic, and starting the "new trend", DC, like so many other publishers, decided to jumped on the horror bandwagon. The result was The House Of Mystery.

Unlike many of the other followers, however, DC actually knew what they were doing. After all, this is the company whose initials stand for Detective Comics, so they should at least know how to do a good mystery and suspense story, right? Unfortunately, when the comics code authority cropped up and started putting the kibosh on horror/suspense/crime comics, DC decided to yield to them rather than die a premature death like EC did.

Thus The House Of Mystery morphed from a classic horror book into a superhero book with moderately creepy undertones. Tales like the serialized, Dial H For Hero, became the regular in HOM's pages and it seemed like it was in a downward spiral. That is until old EC alumni, Joe Orlando, took over as editor in 1968. He decided to breath new death into the book and return it to it's sinister roots. He also introduced a host to The House (something that every self respecting horror anthology needs).

This mysterious figure was Cain, the proverbial "first killer" who layed his brother low. Cain took over as "able" caretaker (get it?) in issue 175, but it's the issue after that (176 for all you delinquents who flunked math) that we'll be looking at today. Remember I mentioned about The House Of Mystery being taken back to it's roots? Well that's exactly the same subject that today's story is about. It's a gnarled bit of deadwood Cain calls...

The Roots Of Evil.


Thursday, July 19, 2012

Ryan B does Beauty And The Beast





Today's story straddles the line between horror comic and hero comic in a way that only a Batman book could. I've always thought that The Joker's maniacal personality was just perfect for a horror host. I mean, a crazed clown with horrifically comical weapons like acid squirting flowers and 1,000 volt joy buzzers who can spout puns as good as the GhouLunatics and the Creepy family combined? He was meant for such a job.

DC must have heard my swears because in 2009 they created a series of comics called Joker's Asylum in which old Mr. J would act as psychotic story teller for each issue. The fact that Batman's rogues gallery is filled with nothing but schizos, monsters, and malcontents meant that The Joker had an almost unlimited source for creepy characters to fill his tales, which range from crime stories, to horror stories, to demented love stories like the one we're looking at today. It features one of the bat's most feral foes, Killer Croc, and has the apt, if unoriginal title of...



Beauty And The Beast.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Ryan B does Jenifer






Witch? Demon? Succubis? Alien?

Is she an innocent victim, or an evil genius?

Some are repulsed by and frightened of her, while others find themselves drawn to her, spellbound.

What, or who is...

Jenifer?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Ryan B's Top 5 Comic Book Witches



"I put a spell on yooou, because your miiine."

And now that you are no doubt playing that song inside your own head, I suggest you also grab a cup of brew and hold on to your broomstick, because here comes a countdown of my top five bewitching women of comic bookdom.

Here comes...





Ryan B's Top 5 Comic Book Witches!



Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Ryan B does Jokes From The Crypt





Today's entry is going to be a little bit different. In an attempt to live up to my Comic Book Crud credo of not only reviewing stories from horror comics, but also "media related to horror comics" I thought it was finally time that I broke from the routine and did just that.

Back in 1992 HBO's Tales From The Crypt series was at the height of it's popularity, which of course led to a wave of merchandising cashing in on the brand name including, but not limited to, reprints of the original EC comic books from which the episodes were based. Kids of the nineties who only knew the live action Crypt-Keeper as a moldering old skeleton got their first glimpse of the original pungeon master as well as his cohorts, The Old Witch and The Vault-Keeper in the pages of these very books. No doubt taking advantage of this new found familiarity, children's book publisher, Random House, released a small paperback book of jokes around this time, told by the three GhouLunatics themselves. It was appropriately titled...

Jokes From The Crypt.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Ryan B does The Dead Will Return






I don't like The Vault-Keeper. I'll just flat out say it. I know that a lot of people find the GhouLunatics to be interchangeable and to some degree I guess that's true, but as far as I'm concerned The Crypt-Keeper and The Old Witch are much more distinct both in personality and appearance than The Vault-Keeper is. I pretty much just see him as a Crypt-Keeper knockoff. Same jokes, similar look, just less fleshed out and more androgynous. Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest and maybe offer it as some kind of explanation as to why it's taken me so long to get around to The Vault and why I featured the other two's stories before getting around to one of VK's.


Today's story is a bit similar to the one from last time, Sea of Graves, in that it is your classic "just can't get rid of a body" story. Also, it takes place mostly at sea. You may think there's some kind of theme all of the sudden around here, but trust me, there isn't, it's just a coincidence and I'm sure you'll see if you stick with me long enough that there are many, many, many tales in the pantheon of horror comic about corpses that just won't quit. So strap on some cement sneakers and row on out with me as we discover that...


The Dead Will Return.


Sunday, May 20, 2012

Ryan B does Sea Of Graves





Web of Horror was a very short lived and often overlooked little horror mag from the late 1960's. It was launched around the same time as Warren's books, CREEPY and EERIE, and in the same black & white, magazine-sized format in order to get around the Comics Code. It only lasted a measly three issues with a fourth one produced, but never published, yet it still deserves a place in the catacombs of horror comic history for two reasons:

One: It featured the talents of many established as well as up and coming artists such as Mike Kaluta, Frank Brunner, and Bernie Wrightson.

Two: It had a unique and memorable host in Webster, a surprisingly cute, pie-eyed spider who for some reason only had four legs.



Today we're going to be revisiting a story from this great anthology that I'm sure will leave you dripping with fright. So bring your beach blanket on down and lay it next to the...

Sea Of Graves.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Ryan B does Fair Exchange





Everybody gets old (well, except for me of course, I'm perpetually whatever age I was a few years ago), but more to the point, every THING gets old and usually when this happens the person or thing that gets old also winds up getting forgotten. It's sad, but true. EERIE Magazine, originally published by Warren Publishing along with CREEPY and Vampirella, got old and more than that it also got forgotten, because while the other Warren mags got revivals, Vampirella first by Harris Publishing and later Diamond Direct, and CREEPY Magazine that recently got relaunched by Dark Horse Publishing three years ago, EERIE has been out in the cold since Warren went bankrupt in the early eighties. What does all this have to do with today's story? Well, on the topic of EERIE and aging and being remembered I decided that it would be more than appropriate to look back on a classic EERIE tale from the early years of this great comic. A story about a man who wants to live forever and will kill to do it. A tale as old as slime called...

Fair Exchange.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Ryan B does Horror We? How's Bayou?





The Crypt-Keeper kept The Crypt of Terror, The Vault-Keeper kept The Vault of Horror, how come the Haunt of Fear wasn't kept by The Haunt-Keeper?

Food for thought.

Anyway, today's story is brought to us by my second favorite of EC's GhouLunatics after The Crypt-Keeper, the actual keeper of The Haunt of Fear, The Old Witch. It's a soggy, swampland tale you'll always dismember called...

Horror We? How's Bayou?

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Ryan B does Dog Days





Let me just start out by saying that Charles Burns is one of my favorite artists, comic book, or otherwise. His simplistic, cartoony style blends a 1950's aesthetic with grotesque freakishness in a way no one else can. In my last review I told you all about one of the best writers of horror comics, Bruce Jones, so I thought that it was only appropriate that this time I would focus on one of the best artists of horror comics. Not that Burns isn't also a great writer, he writes and draws all his own stuff, but it's primarily his art that has made him such a recognizable talent.

Today we will be subjecting ourselves to one of his best, most well known stories (besides Black Hole) that comes from the graphic novel Skin Deep, originally published by Penguin Books in 1992. It's a bizarre little chew toy called...

Dog Days.



Thursday, April 12, 2012

Ryan B does Infected



Not long before Warren Publishing closed shop in 1983, putting CREEPY and EERIE to bed, one of their best writers, Bruce Jones, set out to start his own horror comic. The result was the gloriously ghoulish Twisted Tales published by Pacific Comics in 1982. The series only ran for ten issues, but is well remembered even today by many fans of the genre for the boundaries it pushed in its short time. 

Jones himself is the first to admit in his introduction to issue number one, that Twisted Tales is a complete throwback to the EC comics of the 1950's that he grew up reading, but with a much more mature sensibility that he no doubt picked up working on the Warren books of the seventies that were able to include more sex and adult language than the older EC ones ever were. I think you'll see what I mean by "mature sensibilities" as I review the very first story of the very first issue in this line. It's a contagious little heat rash aptly titled...

Infected

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Ryan B does The Field




So for my first review I gave you a classic EC story from the golden age of horror comics. This time around I thought I'd go to the other extreme, being such an extreme person myself, and give you something a little more current in order to show you how that old gruesome and gleeful spirit is still alive in hell, or rather, alive and well in the comic market of today.

For those living under a rock (or six feet of dirt) for the last three years, let me bring you up... to date. in 2009 Dark Horse Comics set out to breath new life into the cobweb covered corpse of CREEPY Magazine, which had laid long dormant since its original publisher, Warren Publishing, went out of business in 1983. Since it's triumphant return from the grave it has continued to do what any re-animated dead thing would: scare the crap out of people. With old Uncle Creepy himself once again at the helm, the new CREEPY picked things up pretty much exactly where it left off all those decades ago. So without further a-goo, let's take a look at one of its recent offerings. A piece of fresh meat called...

The Field.


Thursday, March 15, 2012

Ryan B does Lower Berth




Welcome to Comic Book Crud: the comics your parents didn't want you to read.

For my first review I thought I would start with a horror comic that everyone is aware of one way or another. Whether you read the original EC comics back in the 1950's, read the many reprints in the early 1990's, or just watched or was aware of the HBO TV series that ran for seven seasons, Tales From The Crypt and its iconic host, The Crypt-Keeper is one of the most recognizable and enduring horror comic properties of all time. Where better to begin than with a very special instalment of this classic anthology? So pull up a toad stool and get ready for the TFTC story titled...

Lower Berth.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

A Whole New Pile Of Blog

Just working on getting all the bugs out of this new blog of mine. Once I'm finished I'll use them to make us all a nice blog-warming cake. Anyway, my first review should be up sometime this month. If it's not, just wait longer.